Could Be… Maybe…


There have been at least fourteen documented sightings in the state of Nebraska, even one in Douglas County out by the Missouri River. There have been hundreds of sightings in other states. I have only seen one myself, and it wasn’t around here. It was early in the evening, and it was right on the side of the road. It’s hard to tell much at 65 mph, but I sure saw it.

It’s difficult, if not impossible, to prove that something doesn’t exist. In fact, and I wish now that I’d paid more attention in science class, I believe it’s impossible to prove a negative. So, who can say they don’t really exist?

It happened so fast. We were scootin’ back down South, my wife and newborn and I, late on a summer day. Actually, it was twilight, that time of day I love so much. The shadows were dissipating, each moment of daylight dissolving and soon forgotten in the coolness of the approaching dark. We had finished the flat part through southeast Arkansas. I remember my wife being awake at that point, because when we passed the Arkansas state pen in all its caged glory, I told her, “Honey, I am never breaking the law. Never. If I ever do end up in prison, I want solitary confinement and a Bible.” Then I recall crossing the bridge over Old Man River, the one on Highway 82 that shoots up so high and back down, like a rollercoaster. Then through the little Delta towns dotting the Mississippi cotton fields, towns so decrepit. I would pray so hard not to have our car break down while driving through them. Somewhere along that road is where I saw it.

The roads at that point are flat, worthy-of-Nebraska flat, and straight as a pin. I think I could have tied the steering wheel fixed to something and snoozed. Our little boy was asleep in the back seat by that time, and my wife had fallen asleep as well. We only had a couple of hours left to get home. I became lost in thought… suddenly, there it was, by the side of the road, on its back. Right there on the shoulder. I zoomed past it, but I did see it, plain as day.

It was a creature of some sort, shaggy like a bear, and it was on its back, wiggling around on the side of the road. It was waving its four legs up in the air and contorting itself, struggling, as if it was convulsing, or maybe just scratching its back. By the time the scene registered with me, I was past it. I started to wake my wife up, to yell and holler, but I didn’t. I told myself to calm down. The thing was huge. I sure wasn’t going to turn around and go look at it.

It wasn’t like any animal I’d ever seen. It wasn’t a person. It was getting dark outside, with no one else around. I stayed my course.

According to the Geographic Database of Bigfoot/Sasquatch Sightings and Reports, sightings are quite common. One witness described the creature as seven feet tall, 350 pounds, and muscular. I wonder how a witness can see how toned such a creature is through all that hair.

This report came from Tennessee, where there have been over 90 sightings: “Well, me, Blake, and Richie were camping out back in the woods. When we heard a terrible moan. Then we heard it moan again, and we heard it begin to run towards us on two feet. We jumped back from the fire and turned on the lights on the truck. As the lights shined down the hollow that night, I saw something I hope to never see again. It was around 6 feet tall, long arms, and dark hair covered its body. We were about 20 yards from it. I looked at it for about 10 more seconds before we jumped in the truck and drove off as fast as we could. I can assure you this is no hoax.”

This is from over in Madison County, Iowa: “On the left side of the road I thought I saw something crouched in front of the intersection sign. As we neared the sign, whatever it was stood up and acted like it was going to try to cross the road. My heart skipped several beats at the sheer size of this thing. It was easily 7-8 feet tall, was very skinny/lanky, and was covered with shaggy, matted brown hair. Its eyes reflected yellow in my headlights like a cat’s.”

There are over 260 reports from Florida, including this one: “The animal’s waist was wider than its shoulders. It seemed to possibly have muscle atrophy of the deltoids, and carrying some extra weight in the midsection.” This one must have been some type of middle-aged Bigfoot.

There have been 22 reports in Mississippi, so I’ll consider mine to be the 23rd sighting. Who’s to say I didn’t see one? If I was a Bigfoot, and I lived in the Delta, and my back itched, how else would I scratch it? There weren’t any trees around; I think the hard pavement would do the job just fine.

There are a couple of loose ends for me in all of this, though. If I was a Bigfoot and chose to live in Nebraska, would I really pick Douglas County, near so many people? There were several witnesses who corroborated this sighting. If I picked Florida… well, it’s hard to believe that I would enjoy Florida in the summertime with all that fur.

As a grammarian, I assume the plural for Bigfoot is Bigfeet. Why are all Bigfeet assumed to be male? How can one tell? Most of the sightings are very brief in nature, and the Bigfeet are exceptionally hairy. Of course, for the species to survive (though some Progressives might disagree), there must be female Bigfeet, but how come no one sees them? The one I saw didn’t look to be seven feet tall…. maybe six feet tall. Perhaps it was a Shefoot. Are there Bigfeet kids out there? Bigfeet babies? Are there elderly Bigfeet out there, somewhere in the woods, getting together to swap stories and complain about the young generation?

Scientists say there are millions of species on Earth, and that we have only discovered a fraction of them. New species are discovered every year. Is it not possible, just possible, there is something to all of this?



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2 Responses to Could Be… Maybe…

  1. sasfootbigquatch says:

    Reblogged this on Armchair Bigfooter.


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